Virginity, extra-maritals, Masturbation and Porn

It is a sad fact that we live in a sexist society. In this said society, double standards are the norm and what is looked upon as something a man would be proud would be a woman’s downfall.

Take virginity for instance. Men are expected to lose theirs sometime in their teens but women are only to be rid of them once they are married.

There is also the idea of extra-marital affairs. It is considered normal for men to keep a mistress and they are praised for otherwise keeping their fidelity. but should a woman stray and decide to keep a lover she is looked upon with disgust by society and is made an outcast.

Masturbation. It’s normal for boys to do it and is even expected of them. But have you ever heard a girl openly admitting that she masturbates? I seriously doubt it.

Porn. It’s a given that the male genders watch porn. Nobody raises an eyebrow when they see men (boys) watching, buying, downloading, borrowing, etc. porn. Have a woman doe the same thing and I doubt she’ll get through the ordeal unscathed.

It’s sad. Makes you think, doesn’t it?

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5 Responses to “Virginity, extra-maritals, Masturbation and Porn”

  1. Seriously the gender issue is something I have seriously thought about. having been raised by a single mother who raised six other children without any support whatsoever I m on on the femm side technically. But recently I have been taking a second look at the situation. Since women have become more aggressive and almost as careless as men; having one night stands and going with who they feel like going with you know the rest, they seem to be loosing bit of their shine. The mysterious things about them that make them special fades away every time they do these things. Dont make mistake when women get involved in the vices, men are usually the winners. Its in women’s interest to maintain these things that make them better than men. But the question is do women want to be as disgusting as we are? Am guessing no! When good people change to become bad people because other people are bad, whos going to hold the society together. In my mind holding the society together has always been a woman’s job. Do they want to do it? Are they happy having children and raising them by themselves? Can they do something the puts men to shame and elevate women above men. I think yes. But that thing they can do is certainly not to behave like men. we have been doing this for thousands of years and what did we get?

    I submit the power of women is in being morally better than. men fall t your feet faster and they don’t have to think twice to propose. If he had to think twice, you have problems and it will reflect on your marriage. let ll the women live right and there will be no mistresses, thts gaurntee.

    I hope this makes sense s i m not a good writer. lol

    • flaire88 Says:

      I appreciate your voicing out your opinion and I can understand where you’re coming from here. The thing I would like to point out is the concept of morality and how it is made to apple to the genders. As i see it, women are judged morally for their actions while as men are allowed to get away with murder. I see your point but disregarding extra-marital affairs (since without a doubt it’s wrong) the concept of virginity, masturbation and porn should not be looked upon as vices.

      Thanks anyway. ^-^

  2. Glad you responded. I realize there was a lot of errors in my submission. I was in bit of a rush and didn’t have the time to read through it. I would like for us to debate this issue further if you don’t mind. we could probably expand it into whole book. I will look at the extra marital affair as you pointed out. Yes its mostly a man thing but its also very fair to say that these days women are also doing it and sometimes over doing it.

    I left my country to spend some time in the UK for a few years. I experienced what I can only describes as extreme culture shock. It was all about how women behaved. sex meant nothing to them the way i saw it. They see guy they like, they jump into bed with him and get rid of him the next day. And this included married women. My experiences with sex and women in England could fill a book. I have to mention here that I have been described as a very westernized person by most people I met in the UK. Its important to mention here that I totally ignored the women I met in the UK to go and married to what I thought at the time to be sacred women. African women. I was running home into their arms where I thought I will be safe. Something I regret to this day. I tried three women and they have ll failed. For the last one I was so confident, i even set a wedding date. The issue is simple. They are not the women I knew anymore. They have changed drastically. They all cheat and they all lie to a scary level. (permit me to generalize here) Infact the women in this country have become so bad, they are “outbading” the men. The extra marital affairs is every where. The faith i had in them is completely gone. Now we have more single girls over 30 who cant seem to find husbands and that was very rare in this country. The men are getting married later than ever. A lot of them are just having kids with the women and moving on. if you cant trust woman you re in serious problem. Some of them re turning to foreign women. Women from Nigeria I heard are much better which surprises me.

    Women have lost that thing that makes them really special. They have started running away from their responsibility. Now we have sex tourism in this country and it includes married women. And when you talk to them, they just simply say men do the same. You know what, its probably not just a men and women issue. Its human nature. every time we find ourselves in any group, we want to survive ahead of other groups. Black and white. Christian and Moslem. Where you work. what family you belong to. Who is your friend and who is not. your country and another country.

    Read Charles Dawkin – Selfish gene. Great book. the selfish gene proposes altruism as the key to survival s opposed to defect. we need to stay on the moral course because that’s the only way we can survive. It is true civilization and the positive is the only thing that can wipe out the negative. Women’s behavior has the potential to neutralize men or fuel our boyish bad behavior. They have all the opportunity to decide what men become. Why would they even want to abandon that. They are the rell bosses and controllers of society and m sure this arrngment was made for a reason.

    Men re bound to behave badly and deviate form the things you thought them so you have to stay pure in order to correct them. If you don’t do this, you set the society on the path to serious decay as is happening in my country. Only women can fix this this.

    There are two programs on TV here that profiles successful women in this country. To me they deal with two different issues. One of them celebrates successful women and the other celebrates ideal women. You will have to see both to decide what a woman should be.

    Which one would you have? powerful successful woman with lot of cash who orders everyone round but have not been able to keep a family and raise children or one that’s motherly successful in her marriage and raised great children who contribute lot to the society. I could go on and on but i guess my point is made. Women should stop complaining and take control of the situation and fix themselves back to their sacred position. exhausting! lol

    • flaire88 Says:

      That’s all right. I think it would be interesting to debate on the issue.

      First things first. I would like to point out that a lot of men jump into bed with random women. This is not inclusive of single men but married men also. I can see here that you think it’s wrong for women to go to bed with men one night and then forget about it the next day. The thing here that I would like to point out is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with random shagging some stranger as long as it’s consensual and safe sex. I am of course speaking here on the terms of single/unattached individuals.

      However, on the idea of married women sleeping around, I believe that as long as discretion is practiced, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. The same goes for married men. But of course, the sad thing here is that when men become indiscreet with their liaisons society tends to look the other way. Unfortunately, the same thing does not apply to women. When women become indiscreet, society is outraged and the husband becomes angry because he has been made a cuckold (ironically, if the situation is reversed, women are expected to bear everything with stoicism).

      On the idea that women should uphold what is “morally” upright, we should forget to question the definition of the word moral.

      Who sets the norms and mores? Society. Who conyrols society? Mostly men. It would then be a given that men would set rules which would be beneficial them regardless of whether said rules are beneficial or otherwise to women.

      Do you know what the root of the concept of monogamy is? Have you noticed that monogamy applies to women more often than men (I will not of course generalize because some societies are of the exception)? This is because women almost, always know who the father of their off-springs are. This is way women are required to have only one partner by patriarchal societies: if women are not monogamous, men are not sure who the father of their wives’ off-springs are because they might try to pass it off as the man’s.

      How can we really say that a person is behaving badly? By whose standards will we judge? We can say that it is a woman’s duty to remain morally upright but then again, how can we define her uprightness? Should we define it by the norms and mores drilled into us since birth? How do we know that in judging her we are not being biased to her sex? How can we be sure that we are not placing her on some pedestal and forgetting her humanity while as we allow men to frolic and revel in being human?

      Can’t wait to hear from you ^-^

  3. Hi. No you didn’t frighten me off. lol I haven’t been online that much to write a response but here I am. Interesting submission and our difference in opinion re becoming clearer but so are our agreements. A lot of men jump into bed into random women: yes. this is what normally happens and yes its not good thing to do regardless of which specie is doing it. I will state for the record: that is what makes us the reckless specie. so therefore the more careful and more self respecting specie will bring a balance. I know what its like to have a woman you adore. the effects of that person on my life was unbelievable. But that’s another story. there is nothing like a woman who has self respect. Shes a mystery and men will do anything to unravel this mystery and if she is wise she can maintain this mystery till she dies. So in response to your first paragraph, A woman who is in the habit of shagging men at random even if its safe sex cannot be a good thing, it slowly eats way your mystery and your power for that matter. And dont forget its not a good thing for men to do it either but the power to control nd straighten society lies with the woman.

    I believe that as long as discretion is practiced, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. The same goes for married men.

    Thats another one i differ on. Under what circumstances can this be ok. Will the couple agree for one to sleep around or will he/she do it secretly. the dangers are too many to list here. Top of the list are the emotional disasters and their attendant results. People kill for this. When someone you trust with your life betrays you like that, the results could be disastrous. And we re talking real love here not; some wishy washy marriage. If its ok to sleep around after you are married, why are we getting married then. Its pointless. Contrary to what most people believe, I think if you can find a good woman, you have found protection for the rest of your life. The power of women is unbelievable if they get it right. I believe that’s why in the good old days, women are trained to use this magic wand with precisions and control. They have to know what they are doing. So when married men sleep around its a terrible thing to do but we have second chance cos the good woman will bring a balance to the situation. If the women is just s bad the man will be worse and the who society is in trouble.

    I don’t a woman that behaves like a man. It doesn’t make sense. Women are the backbone of a society and I really don’t think their position should be taken lightly at all. You know what, contrary to what men believe, women have always chosen their men when it comes to relationships. Great men have relied on women to make decision. There is not equal to a sensible woman. When women let go and loose their morals, men are the winners. Look how many girls are being destroyed by the porn industry; just to satisfy men. But these women claim they have made a good choice. Did you ever see the Sasha Grey interview with Tyra Banks? It’s a classic case

    I say, use your magic wand more and realize the power you have.

    I am having trouble completing this. I have been incredibly busy so am going to leave it here. But I will be back.

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